The fellowship is falling apart

Hullo all, been a long time since I've been on here. As of now there are 1 and a 1/2 weeks of school left, and I'm not as happy as I thought I'd be a few years before. I wonder how it's going to feel to undergo such a paradigm shift in my life as the one that's approaching me now. I'm sure that how much ever I try I'm not going to even get a faint picture of how life's going to be after school until I'm actually living it. There's never going to be that sense of security that I found in so much abundance at school. I wonder how the world is going to treat me, I've hardly ever fit in in school, and all the teachers have always tried their best to help me to. Will I ever fit in society outside, where no one is making any effort to even know my first name. Right now, I'd like to tell all my friends that I love them, and that I'm going to miss them a lot when we're gone. We're never ever going to be the same way we are now. Its going to be impossible to establish the same connection between ourselves that we have now. No more staying late at school, talking about nothing at all, no more meeting at the canteen, filling ourselves up with toxic waste. Whichever way I look at it, this is the end of our friendship as we know it. Its bound to take a different form, whether that'll be better or worse, i don't know, but it'll definitely be different.

I don't know!

Whether to look forward to my new life, or regret leaving my old one. Maybe my new life will be better, but its hard not to rue the loss of something that's been so loving and giving. Even at home, I feel closer to my family than I've ever felt before, ironic, that I'll be leaving them in a few months. Again, I wonder if I'll ever be this close to them again. I think about this everyday, but I quickly shove these thoughts to the back of my head. And now I've run out of thoughts, the only one that is remaining is this one,
To my friends and family,

I love all of you, you've given me everything that I've ever needed, in every possible way, and I'm going to miss all of you.



Shishir

#7

This is something I've been thinking about for a little while now. Are we growing up too fast? Are we too preoccupied with becoming adults? So much so that we forget to be children?

But then again, maybe that's just part of maturing. But still, does that mean we're maturing too fast? If we're already mature, when are we going to enjoy the immature irresponsibility of child hood?

My head is spinning.

One question I'd like to ask everyone. Are relationships in school actually meaningful? I don't mean friendly relationships, I mean 'girl-boy' relationships. Do we even know what real affection and love is? What IS the point of the whole exercise?

If you think there are going to be some answers after this, you're wrong. I don't have any answers to those questions.

Why are we so snowed under with work, that we don't have any time to play? Isn't that reserved for grown ups?
We prepare so much for the future, that we forget about the present. The present just becomes a backward extension of the future. We want to get into a good college, to get a good job, to earn money, to support our families and take care of their futures. At every point in our lives, we are looking at the future, without bothering about the present. That's why small things irritate us, because they obstruct our view of the future. We NEED to live in the present some times, to ensure life doesn't just go past in a mindless haze,where we move from one worry to another.

Pardon me for sounding unrealistic, but, if you look at it logically, the future is our only source of worry. Why do we dwell on it so much? Why are we so willing to think about worries? Sometimes, when I have a lot of work to do, and there's a lot of pressure on my head, I just stop whatever I'm doing and go do something completely different. Sure, I get blasted later, but, I'm not too scared of a blasting once in a while, and I DO have fun in the intermediate period. On the other hand, if I finish my work, I go to school the next day, submit it, feel happy and then go home with more work. Whoop Whoop !

I may have exaggerated here and there, but you get the picture.

I feel, we give too much weight to the future, which is absolutely uncertain whatever we try to do about it. Why can't we try and leave some things to chance, things which are decided by chance any way?

education. Right.

Every day I go to school, I begin to feel more and more that our education system is thoroughly redundant and past its usefulness. While the rest of the world embraces holistic education and all round performance, our system still focusses entirely on academic performance, and nothing else. Despite efforts(however lame they may be) to convince us otherwise, I as a student, can say that I am not in the least bit fooled. Everybody talks about the great Indian engineers and how hardworking they are. In our euphoria over this praise, we have conveniently overlooked all the other reputations wonderful Indian engineers posess. Right now, what we have is a society full of worker bees, with no pioneers to take us forward. Probably because we have no infrastructure to promote brilliance. Back here(yes,I intended to say 'back' here) difference is a bad word. Any student who is different is either dysfunctional or mad. By the time, a brilliant person passes out of school, he has been convinced that he's a lunatic and should stay home and never come out, or he manages to stifle himself to fit into society. Why should he be forced to do that? Indian engineers, are nothing but logs of wood for the mncs, they're equivalent to cheap natural resources, all the same, all equally efficient. Just like little robots. There are scores of people around who know the periodic table by heart, but don't know how to catch buses, or cook food, or even wash their own clothes. Why do you need to do well in school? To get admission in a good college. Why do you need to get into a good college? To earn money.The only reason we go to school and college now is to earn money, not to learn.

I just got off the phone with one of my friends who was in tears because she got shouted at by her tution teacher. Who the hell is a tution teacher? Why should we even need people like that?Why can't our system have the ability to educate us without the help of others? Why should people like that be given the chance to make us cry? I know what you're thinking,'what's wrong with this disrespectful little shit? How can he insult teachers like this?' Let me remind you, that I'm talking only about tution teachers here. School is the institution we put our trust in have faith in to deliver to us knowledge. Going to a tution teacher, is a proclamation of distrust in the school's ability to do its job, to give us knowledge. Our tution teachers aren't our real teachers, they're crutches to help us cope with the incompetence of our school teachers.

More than fifty-years back, we got our independence from the British, but to this date, the last vestige of our colonisation still remains. Our education system. England abandoned this system ages back, its only we, us innocent Indians, who are left with a decrepit and dysfunctional educational system. Why is it that there are so few Indian nobel laureates?(six, to be precise, and mother Teresa was educated in Macedonia) Because we're never taught to think of anything absent in our text books. No place for imagination, no room for vision. The CBSE is like a factory, churning out cheaply made BUT efficient robots that do whatever you tell them to, well. Nothing more,nothing less.

#5

This post is gonna be serious, in answer to Kaushik's question about my stand regarding 'secularism' in our country.

Nowadays, there's a lot of talk going around about certain parties exhibiting "pseudo-secularism". This talk mainly stems from the religious fundamentalist right wing parties. I think, that its better to be "pseudo-secular"(PS) than to be downright fundamentalist. This is because, if you're PS, you have certain responsibilities to ensure that your false image does not get busted. Whereas if you're a right wing fundamentalist ****er, any responsibility that you could have, vanishes into empty space. So, right wing fundamentalist's, in my opinion, have no right to call anyone else pseudo secular or anything else for that matter, because they don't have the guts to assume any responsibility themselves.

And as for the existence of secularism in our country, I think secularism has always existed in our society, its only natural considering the existence of so many different races in it. At least, a majority of our society is secular. There are still those people, stewing at home everyday, spewing out trash about how people from other religions are retarted,or hateful, or criminals, or untrustworthy, or (insert heinous character disorder here) . If it weren't for these people, where would our right-wing be? And now let me come to the very basis of right wing philosophy, as I understand it.

You hit me, I hit you back.

Fine enough, if you look at it from a simple, shallow point of view. But,when you're dealing with the lives of thousands of people, a little reconsideration might be in order.Questions have to be asked,for instance, why did you hit me? Was it something I did? Here comes the part where you asess the reason the other person hit you in the first place, and eventually this boils down to accepting the fact that you are wrong some of the time, which is so hard for our right wing brethren to do.
Now let us delve a little deeper,look into the future,another thing our right wing cousins abhorr.

You hit me, I hit you back.
Ok, now if you're the person who has been 'hit back' so to speak, whats to stop you from repeating the whole cycle and going:

You hit me back, I hit you back for hitting me back.
?? Where will this end?
Another point I'd like to make.

You hit me.I hit you back.

Ok.Hit me back. But. Don't hit everyone who lives in my neighbourhood back because they live in my neighbourhood.In other contexts, neighbourhood may be substituted with religion,caste,creed or any other supposed 'point of distinction'.

Now I'd like to bring you all back to a very basic point, which has been raised countless number of times, but never seems to invoke a response.
Heres futile attempt at invoking a response no.1326453 :
WHY must people be separated based on anything?Actually, I should use the word 'discriminated' instead, because 'separated' can also have positive connotations. I think I know the answer to that question. If there were no discriminations, where would our right wing chums find an outlet to their hatred? It would all just get dissolved in the vast mass of humanity that is our society. Now what a waste that would be!! So, in order to make optimum use of pent up hatred, there have to make discriminations in society. Its that simple.

You hit me. I hit you back.

I don't know about you, but something strikes me as odd about that statement. That's what pops into my head when I first think about being hit. But, among the small bits of experience that I have collected over the years, theres one bit that says "the first thought that pops into your head is mostly wrong". I'd like to point out an example,to append this axiom of mine:

Everybody who has their dear ones killed or injured will most definitely feel like killing the person responsible once news of the incident is reached. Think about that, if everybody went around doing that, there'd be blood all over the streets with people burning and stabbing each other all the time(oh wait, thats what happened in the Gujarat riots). Thats why we have law, to prevent that. Yet, our right wing pals preach exactly that: tit for tat, an eye for an eye,so on and so forth.

There are many more examples to prove this, which I'm sure you can think of yourself. This only applies to those reactions which involve hurt to the initiating party,physical or mental. And now to the point, right wing fundamentalists live off the exhibition of base emotions, the ones still remaining from our days as single celled organisms. So, I think, that the time has come for us to stop listening to these base emotions and deplete the lag between our physical and mental evolution.

#4

Hai peoples! Thanks to stratospheric response to my previous post, I shall abolish my principles and make another post in the same day!

Pk(preetika) asked me why I called myself Shyshe. This is a commonly asked question and hence I shall include it in my FAQ section.

FAQ

1)Shishir, why do you call yourself Shyshe?

Ans: The reason for my calling myself this might shock and annoy you, but it has to be uncovered. One day, I happened to be chatting with my 2 friends, Dhruva and Priya. Somehow the conversation came around to the topic of nick names. I was highly obsessed with the word 'shite' at the time, and since I was being pressed by my friends to make up a nickname, I chose the name Shyshe. I shall not insult the intelligence of the reader by explaining the connection between the 2 words.

#3

Hi again.Right now I'm engaged in what is called 'recreational blogging'. A term coined by me a few minutes ago. This basically means that I'm blogging just for relaxation and enjoyment. Thats really sad considering the fact that I made this blog to ask the world some 'serious' questions. After 2 posts though, any hope I had of the 'world' reading my blog quickly vanished. The only person reading my posts is Kaushik and he's losing interest pretty quickly also.

This blog is doomed.

Will you save it?

Its easy!

Just post a comment.

That way I'll actually feel that someone is putting serious thought into what I'm saying even if they're not. If you don't post anything with serious thought put into it, I shall not hold it against you, because I am guilty of the same charge. Maybe instead of me asking questions and nobody answering them, it'd be simpler if you guys asked me my opinion on things and I responded with philosophically loaded and morally uplifting answers. This way is actually very simple for me, because I have more than enough opinion to throw around, and once you guys get angry with me for that, I can safely say 'You asked for it!' and 'Nyah Nyah Nyah' . And just so that you guys don't get pissed with this whole idea, you can post your opinions too! In the comments section.

You can post your opinion!

yes,you!

its easy!

Just post a comment

#2

I have to say, it's extremely hard to think of what to post over here.
Should I post nonsense or just wait for inspiration?
Posting nonsense is considerably easier, but somehow I don't feel like, seeing as that's everybody's way out. Kaushik seems to be inspired this way, in that he can just randomly conjure up some thing which actually means something once you drill through its outer shell of nonsensity. Hopefully anybody reading this will not feel the need to drill past the outer shell for the simple reason that there is nothing underneath. Yes. Beneath this innocent cover of ramble is a sheer mass of emptiness, unfathomable to most. Maybe in my next post I shall find something intelligible to say, but there is definitely no hope for this post. Yeah, I think I'll make my next post about politics, my pet peeve. I think I might ramble about the sorry state of politics in our country today and how all politicians are scum. But you see, the difference between this rambling and that, is that the other kind of rambling actually contains a considerable mass of truth under it, whereas this is mere shallow, old fashioned Bull Shit. Actually, come to think of it, everything is rambling. Who cares about anything? If we actually looked at life from the big picture, then we'd realise that nothing matters, anytime, anywhere. A point already illustrated by Kaushik, blogger extra-ordinaire. I am not going to post a link to his blog though, for fear that his may become more popular than mine! NEVER! No blog is going to obstruct my blog's path to superstardom. Anyway, back to my original point, which is, nothing.